Emotional Abuse

Emotional abuse is (1.) Saying or doing something to another that creates fear, lowers self esteem/worth, or (2.) Controls the person’s feelings, thoughts and behaviors.

Examples:

• Name calling, put downs and insults
• Minimizing, blaming, and making the victim feel responsible for the abuse
• Threats to get the person to do what the abuser wants (physical harm, exposing personal information, to harm themselves or the victim’s loved ones)
• Mind games, making the other person feel “crazy”
• Minimizing thoughts, feelings and opinions
• Controlling behavior (how they dress, how they spend their free time
• Controlling who the other person is friends with, talks to and spends time with
• Keeping constant tabs on their partner (excessive calls and texts)
• Stalking (in person, via the phone, or online)

How does emotional abuse exert or maintain power and control?

By making the person feel worthless, and like no one else would want to date them, the victim believes this and stays with their partner. The victim believes that the abuse is their fault, and if they appease their partner and be a “better” partner, the abuse will stop.

Emotional abuse begins as an attack on a person’s feelings, but results in changing the way that person thinks. For example, if a person is told that they shouldn’t eat this or that or they will gain weight, their feelings will be hurt. If they are told that frequently and repeatedly, they might begin to believe that they are overweight, and change their behaviors to appease their partner and themselves (control).

Read more about the methods of abuse.